As thousands of citizens in the UK die of this cursed Coronavirus, the executive of the Scottish Professional Football League continue to pursue a misguided, spurious and potentially illegal path. While thousands around them perish and even more key workers risk their lives on a daily basis we (in the context of Scottish football) have these absolute cretins representing us in our capacity as fans of football and our national game...........
The incompetence of the SPFL just escalates and grows exponentially. They lurch from one crass process to the other. If it isn’t denying support to member clubs representing the nation in European finals, it is sticking its head in the sand relating to child safety and historic child abuse to rigging votes in order to secure an early closure to a season that is mathematically far from certain. Depressingly there are many more examples but these three I’ve listed should convince the reader that the SPFL is an egregious organisation that is biased and easily manipulated by over representation of certain individuals and the personal agendas of these individuals.
The latest ruse from the SPFL is to appoint their mates to hold a brief, let’s describe it as very brief, investigation into the vote rigging. This is akin to Humza Yousaf investigating Nicola Sturgeon about the spending (or lack of) of UK government allocated funding to support Scotland’s businesses during the lockdown crisis. It’s laughable.
This got me thinking about the fragility of life and the prospect of a premature or unnatural end. It got me thinking about all the slaughterhouses up and down the land. This may seem strange, however, this comparison isn’t too far removed from the process of the SPFL voting scandal which has engulfed the sport.
The cattle are coaxed, firstly to enter the area in a group and then filtered to walk single file along a gentle S- or C-shape bend. This is the curved chute system devised by Temple Grandin. Temple Grandin is an American professor of animal science and she has been for many years.
We have our very own Temple Grandin, let’s call her People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - PETA, Peta Liewell. Our SPFL cattle are coaxed to express group views before being filtered into a single vote system. This is the U - bend vote system devised by our fictional character Peta. The U - bend could be euphemistically associated with U-turn manoeuvres or probably more accurately the part of the toilet where the SPFL currently find themselves and their reputation.
The stock meander to their fate blissfully unaware of the path they are taking and end result. We could call the cattle Ross, Mirren, Livi, Dee or any other name that you would choose to give a succulent animal being lead to slaughter. Peta is actually a master of the black arts surrounding media spin. Peta also has the skills of a magician. She has actually made a whole boys football club disappear, including their name and history. In her capacity as chief magician she also made a vote re-appear and seem valid to the integrity of Scottish football.
Peta soon realised that Ross, Mirren et al would find their imminent demise much less stressful if they couldn’t actually see what lay ahead. The curve of the chute obscured their fate until the very last moment, thus keeping them calm until the very end. This is rather like the current situation in the SPFL. We all know that the SPFL is using the Covid-19 lockdown to force through enforced decisions, titles and agendas that are extreme. The ripples from this shock within football are well underway.
Yet, the useful herd continue and do not see or feel the appropriate fear. Precisely because there has never been anything like it, the forthcoming catastrophe is impossible for them to comprehend. Even the SPFL and our fictional Peta who are slightly ahead in the curve and who can smell the blood in the air - those who are actually manipulating the herd and work within the mechanisms of the SPFL - aren’t sure of what is going to fully happen. Yet the bovine band of brothers mentioned above continue to plod along in single file.
There seems almost a peaceful content amongst this group. Outside the office of the SPFL and the SFA it doesn’t seems like disaster is looming. Almost the opposite. It’s like a succession plan is well underway. They shouldn’t celebrate too soon. This is desperate posturing from a questionable bunch of below average individuals who know that the world has changed to almost unrecognisable levels in the past 3 months. League titles being pursued by the deranged while others die, suffer and face economic hardship is obscene. It’s like asking the victim of a paedophile ring within a boys football club if they would like a new football strip and club name, it’s an utter irrelevance to the situation the country finds itself in.
Scottish football is in a parlous state. It lurches from crisis to crisis with absolutely no desire to seek external support let alone consultation or critique. SPFL now needs to be forensically dissected by a true independent body. Scottish football is far from a prime cut of fillet but there is an honest, hearty steak available. I hope it finds its way to the plate before the select few at the end of the curve who are waiting with heavy duty chains, hydraulics and power tools ready for the butchery turn a decent meal into animal feed.